Heartbreak

Tade rolled over for the umpteenth time since going to bed. He had returned from work feeling tired from the day’s work. He just needed to take his bath, lay on his bed, and watch movies on his tablet until sleep comes calling. Dinner was never a problem; Tade’s routine was fixed. He’d branch the “mama put” close to his office, order for his usual three wraps of “fufu”, “egusi” soup laced with some “ogufe” and something cold to ensure a safe landing before heading home to his cold bath and movies. He always slept off watching his movies.

Little did he know that life had some other plans for him on this fateful night. Tade was enjoying his usual Nigerian series, Skinny Girls in Transit on YouTube when WhatsApp notified him of a new message. He had forgotten to switch off his data. He didn’t like distractions when seeing his favourite series. Tade decided to ignore the message; it was from Sade, his fiancée. Her calls and messages were no longer what they used to be, the last thing before sleeping and the first thing after his devotions.

Tade paused for a while, “how did we get here?” he thought to himself. He and Sade would go on talking until that annoying MTN female voice would notify them, “one minute remaining.” They’d then move to WhatsApp where they’d chat the rest of the night off. He sighed, unlocked his tablet which had now hibernated, opened the message waiting for him on WhatsApp, and met the rudest shock of his life. Tade had gotten some heartbreaking messages before like when his dad died or when his university “heaven’s gift” broke up with him. But this message hit him hard, harder than his fragile heart could take.

“Apart from our many issues, my family is not in support of this relationship; I’m sorry, it’s over”

Read Death

Hot tears rolled down effortlessly, he could feel his heart burning and pounding at the same time. He held his chest tight; he feared his heart could pop out. His whole body was shaking at the same time. He picked up his tablet, opened the message again. This time, hoping he had made a mistake earlier. No, his eyes read right. The relationship he spent the last seven months trying to save was finally over. “Why, God why?” he managed to mutter and let out a scream. His heart felt heavy, his body felt weak from within. The strong man in him failed him that night, he cried until his strength failed him then sleep came calling. Life truly had other plans for him on this fateful night.

Seven months ago, his relationship had taken a new twist. Sade had started showing signs of a breakup. She had waited for him patiently to get a new job, move to Lagos where everything happens, and do better financially. She had watched him mismanage money, money they could build a future together with. Sade hoped for a change, she hoped her man would rise to the task and prove himself a man.

Tade knew he had messed up in the past, Sade had been patient with him. He asked for a little more time; this time he’d do better, he’d be the man she wanted him to be. He had plans but Sade was done. She wasn’t getting any younger. She was tired of plans that seemed to be taking forever. She wanted something better, a man that could assure her of financial security.

Tade tried to save the relationship, in fact, he fought for it. Days grew into weeks and weeks into months. Gradually, they stopped talking. They only talked once in a while and when they did, there was nothing to look forward to. The spark was gone, their hearts had grown cold. It was only a matter of time before they accepted that it was over.

Catching feelings and falling in love is easy, what sustains relationships are important things like understanding, trust, and communication. Money is an important part of relationships and marriage and we all have different responses to it. It is important for people in relationships with the intention to marry to understand how each party responds to money matters.

It is also important for the man to be prudent with money. No woman wants to commit to a wasteful man.

Bassey writes from Lagos. You can connect with him on Instagram http://www.instagram.com/theofficialbasseydaniels. He is the founder of Dear Tade, a platform that seeks to change the boy child narrative. Follow us on Instagram http://www.instagram.com/lettertotade.